Living In Tokyo Long Term: Love It or Hate It
Living somewhere for a few weeks and living somewhere for more than a decade are two completely different experiences.
The excitement eventually fades, routines take over, and you begin noticing the little things that make a place both rewarding and frustrating. After more than 14 years in Tokyo, I've had enough time to experience the honeymoon phase, the culture shock, the everyday routines, and the quieter realities that only reveal themselves over time.
In this episode, I reflect on what I genuinely love about living in Tokyo—and the parts that still challenge me.
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Everyday Life Keeps You Moving
One of my favorite things about Tokyo is how naturally active daily life becomes.
If somewhere is only a station or two away, I'll usually bike. If it's closer than that, I'll walk. It's not exercise in the traditional sense—it's simply how life works here.
That slower pace has helped me discover parts of my neighborhood I never would have noticed from inside a car. Small parks, quiet streets, neighborhood restaurants, and countless little details become part of everyday life when you're moving through the city instead of driving past it.
Safety Changes the Way You Live
One thing I still don't take for granted is how safe Tokyo feels.
It's more than just low crime statistics. It's the confidence that comes from walking home late at night without worrying, watching children walk to school on their own, or knowing that a lost wallet has a good chance of finding its way back to its owner.
That sense of security quietly shapes everyday life in ways that are difficult to appreciate until you've lived somewhere without it.
Learning the Rhythm
Living in Japan isn't only about learning the language.
It's also about learning the rhythm.
There are countless situations where nobody tells you the rules—you simply notice that everyone else somehow knows them already. After my Japanese improved, I actually felt this more than when I was a beginner. Once people expect you to understand what's happening, missing those unspoken expectations becomes much more noticeable.
It's rarely hostile. It's simply part of living in a culture where so much communication happens without words.
Appreciating the Everyday
One thing I've grown to appreciate over the years is Tokyo's seasonal rhythm.
The arrival of oden at convenience stores, summer curry menus, limited-time snacks, and familiar seasonal foods become little reminders that another part of the year has arrived. They're small things, but together they create a comforting sense of routine.
The convenience stores themselves deserve their reputation. Whether I'm paying bills, grabbing lunch, cooling off during summer, or picking up something on the way home, they simply become part of everyday life.
When the System Doesn't Bend
Of course, not everything is easy.
Japanese systems often prioritize following procedures over adapting to unusual situations. Whether it's immigration paperwork or other official processes, you sometimes find yourself dealing with delays or complications that nobody can really solve because everyone is simply following the rules.
It's one of the realities of living here long term. Eventually, you learn to expect it, prepare for it, and keep extra time in your schedule whenever paperwork is involved.
The Quiet Kindness of Tokyo
People sometimes describe Tokyo as cold, but that hasn't been my experience.
The kindness here usually isn't loud or expressive. Instead, it's thoughtful and understated.
I've experienced it through handwritten notes from parents, neighbors volunteering to help without being asked, and countless small acts of consideration that happen without anyone expecting recognition.
It's a different kind of warmth than I grew up with, but over the years I've come to appreciate it just as much.
Building a Life Without Becoming a Local
One lesson I've gradually accepted is that I may always be viewed as a foreigner.
Even after many years, speaking Japanese, raising my family here, and building a life I genuinely love, there are still moments where I'm reminded that I'm an outsider.
That used to bother me far more than it does today.
Now, I care less about being seen as a local and more about the life I've actually built. I have routines, friendships, work I enjoy, familiar places, and a community that feels real. For me, that's far more meaningful than whether anyone considers me fully Japanese.
Tokyo isn't perfect. There are still things that frustrate me, and probably always will. But after more than 14 years, it still feels like home.
You don't have to love everything about a place to know it's where you belong.
If you've lived abroad for a long time, what parts of your adopted home do you love—and what still challenges you? I'd love to hear your experiences.